#DearNigerianYouth #Episode2

 

OPEN YOUR MIND

I was discussing with a few friends of mine about the corporate life style in Nigeria and how we aren’t so certain that the “culture” which we defined as the way of thinking, pattern of learning and behaviour, is ready to allow a freedom to choose between a 9-5 job/working experience and a freelance work lifestyle.

What I found out from that discussion was that for a lot of us, our minds are still BOXED…

Today I want to tell my dear Nigerian youth to OPEN YOUR MIND!

We hold different things dear to our hearts. We call them beliefs, faith, convictions and any other name we craft for them. All these things came as a result of information we received and we deem undeniable or binding.

These things only change when:

1. We are faced with a more superior argument that trump ours and there’s no negating it. This new “Truth” becomes our new thought pattern or our new mind-set.
2. When we have OPEN MINDS ready to accept new views or are open to see news perspectives to the issues that have held our convictions.

Have you ever had a situation from way back!!!  and you told yourself “this isn’t for me” but as time went on you realised you have overcome what made you hold on to that state of mind concerning the situation but because of how much you have held on it and talked soo much about it you hold on to it even when it isn’t necessary?

That is an attribute of a closed mind.

We all learn every day, we discover, we even dabble sometimes into new truths. Relegating your previous position because you learnt something superior makes you a stronger and better person.

Here are ways that can assist in your quest to open your mind:

1. Read more:

Don’t read only local authors, read globally, read a broader spectrum of things.

Don’t be stuck in a box. If you read fiction a lot, drift a bit and try a non-fiction book once in a while, magazines, articles, news etc.

 

2. Be interested:

Be calmer and listen to what other people have to say. Hear opinions for expert people and seek their input on things.

 

3. Travel:

If you have the opportunity please try to travel as often as you can outside your locality. It may be within your country or outside your country. Just go and experience other peoples’ life style, culture and way of doing things.

#dearnigerianyouth there are so many ways you can engage actively to open your mind. Watch videos, make good use of the internet etc. Just create what works for you and be conscious of learning and exploring.

 

Watch out for our next episode…

 

#DearNigeranYouth #Episode1

#DearNigerianYouth

Episode #1

 

They have told us numerous times that we are unemployable, lazy, and impressionable which is just a fancy word for saying we are gullible (oh that’s another fancy word) oh well!!! It is that they can sell anything to us and we will take it all in.

To a reasonable extent we can agree, we must add though, that it does not apply to everyone, but for those it applies to, we can fairly blame the schools we attended, the lecturers we had (I mean google learnt copy and paste from these guys I tell you!), inconsistent school calendars, not to talk about some African parents that can stress you “for Aye”. Local parlance for “a long time”

Nevertheless,

Nobody ever built anything worthwhile on excuses, I mean never built anything at all.

So what are we going to do?

1. Isolate ourselves:

This is contrary to a lot of things we have heard about “not walking alone” “leveraging” etc. PLEASE DO NOT GET ME WRONG all these things are good, even great but they aren’t the first things to do. The first thing is to ISOLATE YOURSELF. Why? So you can discover, in this world of endless options, who you are and what line you want to tow.

Thing is, if this is not defined you won’t know how and what to leverage, you will chase every “viable” network but it won’t pull through because you are directionless, sorry if it sounds a little harsh.

Life Guard

It is almost as though everything in life is a race or a competition and as crude as things can get sometimes, people do not mind stepping on others to get ahead.

I think sometimes people distract us so we can focus on what they are trying to show us than what we need to see. In a day can you count how many adverts, TV shows, commercials, funny videos on instagram vie for our attention?

Always be PREPARED

Have you ever wondered how you can prepare perfectly for someone or a group of people without 1) asking them 2) becoming them?

Have you ever tried to buy a present or a gift for someone and you keep wondering what to buy? If it’ll be what the person wants or at least what they need?

This is the sort of dilemma that goes on in my head when International leaders meeting draws close…

Rewind…

It is okay to start all over…

“I woke up 07:00am, put on my new dress, reminded myself that it was a good day to be alive and with a 007 plan to quell all the negative talk in the office and who knows, I’ll win employee of the month!!!
I decided that “not every time hot, sweaty and running late, sometimes fresh and clean” so I took an uber, didn’t care about the cost, this was me taking one for the team.
I arrived the door to the office and I am greeted by noise, anger, vexation and even tears.
There is something on the wall everyone is staring at,
It’s a list…
Not employee of the month or bonuses or the type,
Its eviction day without notice,
And guess whose name made the list…..”

IT’S POSSIBLE TO LOVE.

There are so many reasons why we love people, things etc. One of the reasons we love a certain thing or person is our appreciation of the distinct difference of that person or thing.

Many times, when we make statements like these, “I love how she does this” or “I love his sense of humour” (ladies!!! *wink*) we show our love for that person as we appreciate that person’s distinct qualities.

I want us to approach this for another side of the love coin or wheel, where our love is really needed. The area of Love for children!!!

I have heard over and over again that it is impossible not to love one child more than another. People say that in every family a parent must love one over another. In other words, every family has “mum’s favourite” or “daddy’s girl or boy”.

However I do not share this sentiment. I honestly believe we can love all our children and not be biased towards any one of them. Here are my reasons for this:

Simple Things PT 2: The Ultimate search…

If you’re just joining us this is a series called simple things where we learn valuable lessons from every day experiences that life teaches.

In the spirit of the Christmas festivities, my family threw a beach party in Lagos, Nigeria. This included all our friends and their friend’s friends – you know how it is in Nigeria when you invite one, and you plan for two? Lol. The children weren’t left out. Needless to say, it was so much fun.

During the hang out, we were playing beach ball and my eldest sister told me to watch my niece and nephew. They were playing with the other children and I just said “it’s no biggie”. I turned to look at these “harmless” little ones who seemed pretty engrossed playing in the sand that I thought to myself “they will be here for another 15 minutes or so, you can go back to your game”. I asked my other sister to keep an eye on them so that we could have 2 pairs of eyes watching the children.

All was well until…

My eldest sister says to me “where is Tani?”. I should mention at this point that my niece is 4 years old and very tiny. This was Lagos, at the beach, and at Christmas. I’m sure by now you can adequately paint the exact expression my face held when I confidently answered my sister and said “she’s right there” only to turn and see she was gone.

We started the ultimate search and couldn’t find her. Checked the areas closest to the water, the bouncing castle at the corner, where the older folks were, nothing… At this point everyone was involved in the search for her.

Someone spotted her and called everyone’s attention, this precious little one was so far away from everyone and in the midst of a completely different set of people. She didn’t really notice she had left the “fold” until she saw us running after her to pick her up…

Sometimes in life we all need to take a step back and look at our surrounding, where we are, evaluate and take stock of our lives. To find out if we are still on track or if we have veered off course. Many a time when we lose our way we are oblivious to it, we never intend to be on the wrong path, it might not have seemed like we took a wrong turn when we started off course, it may not necessarily be a wrong path but maybe a path that is not really “us” or we lose ourselves in the bustle of someone else’s street. However, the path we continue to take is not justified by the reason we took it in the first place, also the fact that we have long stayed on a path does not make it the right path.

Today take a step back, evaluate and ask yourself, Am I still on track? Have I lost my way? Am I on the right path? Before you continue on your journey…

SIMPLE THINGS PT1: The Bathroom Experience.

It’s been a little while since I last put up a post and I missed you too…

Over the next two months I’ll be doing a series called “Simple Things”. There are so many things we can learn from simple everyday activities, events, nature, situations etc. Sometimes these occurrences may even seem insignificant but having a look at it from a different view will remind us of valuable lessons.

Here is my part 1:

I love to take a hot bath after a long day, which is almost every day asides Saturdays (when there is no wedding to attend and you know Nigerian weddings…).
It’s amazingly refreshing, it arouses your senses to a realization of ease and comfort like never before. Sometimes I honestly think I become like those adverts shown about a particular bathing soap or bath gel/wash and how the person using it is transported in a magical trance of freshness when all the senses come alive in an awareness of magic.

But…

There is always one issue however, the courage to actually go and have this bath. One would think that for something that gives such rewards, a person would have no struggle at all with doing it, in fact one would jump at every available opportunity to have such a wonderful experience as many times as possible. Yet I am so tired that the first thing I tell myself is more pleasurable than a bath is to just lie down and sleep.
Every time I’m tired it is a challenge to have a bath, some days are easier than others to overcome this struggle but it does not come easy. Every time I have to take a bath at the end of the day I have to decide and push myself to do it.

The Lesson…

There are so many things that yield opportunities to us, offer an abundance of prospect if and only if we actually get up and do them. Dreaming and wishful thinking about how our lives will be so perfect if we have them does not give us that which we seek, only in a step of faith and courage towards the direction we desire do we enjoy the pleasures that it offers.

For every time I engage that struggle and fight the battle of standing up with my weary bones to encounter the great charms of the bath tub, I experience the magic but until then, I am just a wishful thinker or worse I only live on the dreams of a pleasure I once encountered in the past.

The easy way out is just as it implies, “easy” does not yield the benefits you desire. So if it’s a job, a business, a new weight size, a dream, six packs, an idea you want turned to reality, a habit you want to have, a new height/level you want to attain, do what it takes to get what you desire. It will not ever become easy, but it will always be worth it.

In the words of the legendary Nollywood…
To be continued…

What’s Next?

I was having a chat with my boss on a Friday morning. I call him my older friend, and when I say older I mean some 15 years older than me. Those people you call “uncle” because that is a way to accord them respect.

Anyways… he told a story about some rich hot shot that decided to reward himself with a vacation. He convinced himself that there is no better way to celebrate his victories other than taking some time away to relax and enjoy some peace and tranquility far away from the hustle and bustle of Wall Street.

So he travels and one of the days he went by the river bank just to enjoy the sights of nature and saw this poor fisherman and his son fishing and laughing away. Almost bare clothes, no shoes, brown teeth, for the life of the rich man, he could not understand whatever will be so funny, I mean! What’s there to laugh about?

He tried desperately to ignore this sight but he couldn’t, after several failed attempts to mind his business he decided to approach the man.

Hot Shot: Hello there! I could not help but notice you and seeing you here fishing I know you’re a hard worker. So what do you say about me helping you out, build you a business, I know a lot of things I can teach you…

Poor Fisherman: And then, what next?

Hot Shot: I can take you back with me to Wall Street, pull a few string get you into the fish industry but you have got to work hard you know?

Poor Fisherman: and then, what next?

At this point Hot Shot is wondering what was wrong with this man, does he even have any idea what this means? Me? Trying to help? #sigh

Hot Shot: Do you want to be poor forever? Don’t you wanna make money, be rich?

Poor Fisherman: And then, what next?

Resigning from this conversation Hot Shot leaves and Poor fisher man and son continue fishing and laughing…

There’s is an invisible race everyone is running and an unspoken finish line almost everyone is trying to reach first.

The question WHATS NEXT is the question we many a times fail to stop and ponder on. Life isn’t a race with everyone and there’s no one finish line for everyone. We all have our individual race and individual finish line.

Life is not to be raced through, but lived, with a purpose and a goal to make an impact, to heal the world through the field you belong. If what you do does not bring value to everyone else and does not give you a sense of satisfaction, think again.

You are your greatest competition.

Ask the question “what next?” till you can clearly see what you want to achieve in the end. If it’s worth it then go for it.

REFLECTIVE LENSES

I have met some people who are not only intelligent but they know that they are. What is peculiar about this, is the fact that these set of people are readily content with their version of things, which is really not a bad thing, especially when they turn out to be right most of the time.

We all have these moments when it comes to areas that we are very adept in or in our “original” ideas. I had a chat with a good friend of mine who is currently running a master’s degree program. He was telling me how he wrote a paper to present and was very confident of his paper. Just before it was due for submission, he thought to give some of his peers to read through and comment.

You know that feeling where the response you confidently expect will sound something like, “oh this is soooo good, nothing to correct here”, or at most “just read through again for spelling errors, otherwise, it’s perfect”. To his pleasant surprise, the responses he got from his peers got him another day of redoing the paper. And he remarked, “you never know how far away you may get until others point it out to you” these weren’t his exact words, this is me paraphrasing what he said, still carrying the message.

We will always judge things based on our experiences (personal or external), our knowledge base, and areas of expertise. This is completely natural because these are the things that inform our decisions. However you will always be ahead if you see things through another lens. Allow other people’s knowledge base and experiences, reflect on your own view, so that you get to see better.

I have noticed that if you put one hand over one of your eyes and try to see, you get to see clearly. If you try it on the other eye, you also see clearly but the view is different and if you see through both eyes you have one great view.

The End…